Is it time to start dancing to your own tune?

This may be controversial but….

I don’t believe balance exists.

Ok hear me out.

I spent years trying to find this illusive ‘balance’ that everyone talked about and so I spent years trying to achieve something I was never able to. Always feeling on the back foot or failing somehow for not finding it. This created a ‘must try harder’ norm as I tried to fit in with what the world seemed to tell me was what you were aiming for in life. I have since come to the conclusion, that the reason I could never find it is because it doesn’t actually exist. Now unless you’re a set of scales (No libra not even you I’m afraid!) I believe balance is an unrealistic goal. I have come to the conclusion that life is all about the juggle and we should embrace that juggle for everything it is. It’s just everybody’s juggle is different. And that is exactly how it should be, as we are all totally different people with totally different wants, needs, desires and dreams.

When it comes to my life, I like to Imagine a circle of string around a spiders web with each thread a different part of my life. If one area demands more of me at one point, it pulls other areas in, and so I have less capacity for them. If several areas demand my time/attention, the string can only reach so far and areas start tugging against each other, fighting for my attention. If areas start jumping over each other the string can get jumbled and become knotted meaning I have less string to work with overall, and if I pull too hard -well there is only one outcome- the string breaks, but we don’t get to decide when that happens. It just happens.

The problem with all the tugging leading up to that break however is that there becomes wear and tear on the string. It doesn’t then repair instantly by just tying the ends together. The whole string then needs attention to get it back to its former glory otherwise its more prone to more breakage. The key therefore I say, is to work on your prevention tactics. Prevention is much easier to manage than the result of breakage. It’s just unfortunate that too few people realise the importance of this until they are much further down the line and close to, or post breakage. Or they value it for other people but don’t value themselves enough to take care of themselves properly. Self-care is not a privilege; it isn’t selfish, and it doesn’t have to be what other people do. (If you would rather a warm bubble bath over an ice bath then go for it, if a walk in the park fills you with dread but you fill your cup from a night in front of the TV occasionally then great! You do you!) Self-care is a necessity, and it needs to be treated like it.

I do believe however, you can increase your string length by taking care of yourself, your mind, and your body, and also by ‘filling your cup’ with the things that bring you joy. You can even create a bit of give in the string if this becomes regular practice for you. They key is don’t let your string get tangled. Don’t let areas play tug of war for your attention. Learn to protect yourself through self-love and self-care habits to allow you to expand in all areas of life like a ripple effect. Think of it as a string Mexican wave of magic! (I hear a harp playing in my head here for some reason! If you stick around you will notice I apply music and food to most situations.)

Most of all do not be fooled into looking for balance- I suggest you look for harmony. You want to find your own web of magic like a combination of melodies that when tuned to your preferred juggle - together they play their own beautiful song. But that song can change its harmonies and still sound good if you know how to play the instruments. Learn to love the highs and lows like all good pieces of music- you want the peaks and troughs otherwise it all just gets a little dull- and nobody really wants that. 💖🎶 🎵 🎶🎵

Much love & magic,

Michelle